she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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