I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My feet surprised me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
