What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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