erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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