Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
