we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
