Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
