Need sex. Gaining weight.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
