Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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