There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
