So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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