Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Bring me that man meat
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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