I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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