Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
