Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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