so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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