if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
