member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
