Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
