one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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