Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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