My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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