I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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