So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
