If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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