What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
