we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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