there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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