i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
