I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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