i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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