Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
