I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
