There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
