found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
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So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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