Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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