You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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