So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I checked into jail on foursquare
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She needs sedatives and a leash
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
