Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
