'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
