Christians are straight up FREAKS
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
