Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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