I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
