my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He did a backflip because drugs
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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