haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize