She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
