how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
