But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
