trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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