Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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