There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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