with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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