do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
