she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
