yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize