his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
