So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
