Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
