It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
