Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
