I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
