More tranny stories later!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Can i not drive my cunt home
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
