There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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