she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
