she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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