He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
