i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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