Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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