it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
