i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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