My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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