I haven't been this sober since birth.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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