If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
